Help Your Daughter Build a Good Online Reputation
By Linda McCarthy, Internet Security Advocate and Btweens.com Expert
Many reputation experts spend a lot of time talking about how to clean up a bad online reputation. But they rarely talk about how to build a good online reputation. That’s just as important. I’m sure you spend a lot of time helping your teens present their better side to the world—from helping them pick out appropriate school clothes to selecting the right courses and activities in high school to impress their dream colleges. But have you spent any time talking to them about their online reputations? If not, you are not alone.
Reputation cleanup often focuses on removing information from the internet. But you don’t really want to remove all information. What would you think about someone who had NO digital footprint? Strange? No social network details? No work history? Witness protection? Not the impression teens really want to leave on college admissions staff checking online.
A more important step is to make sure that the Internet showcases your teen’s better side. Yes, there may be one or two less than stellar posts. But if those negative posts are outweighed by recent positive postings, they’re going to drop out of the top search engine results. Luckily, most searchers stop after three or four screens of search results. If you can push any negative results to the fifth page or farther, you just might push it beyond searchers’ radar.
To help your teen(s) create a good online rep, talk them through the 5 critical steps.
(1) Be discreet.
When you set out to improve your online rep, remember that discretion is the better part of valor. If you forge ahead full steam spewing post after post about how great you are and how wonderful your life is, even casual browsers are going to think that you’re pretty full of yourself. The trick is to showcase your better side without making it all about you. Instead, you want to highlight your accomplishments indirectly.
(2) Say nice things about others.
Begin by saying nice things about others. Write an online letter to your local newspaper describing what a positive impact they made by donating papers to your current events class and how much you learned as a result. Post a comment on the Habitat website thanking your local chapter for teaching you how to hang drywall. Email the company that makes your favorite shampoo praising their product. (Companies often post “fan mail” from satisfied customers.) Look for opportunities to pay compliments online. Saying nice things about others adds a positive sheen to your online reputation.
(3) Demonstrate your insight and intelligence.
Also, look for ways to demonstrate that you’re is articulate, intelligent, and thoughtful. Participate in online forums and discussions by asking well-considered questions and posting well-reasoned responses that don’t insult or belittle other posters. Bitingly sarcastic flames might be satisfying for a minute or two after you hit enter, but ask yourself what you really think about people who make those types of posts. Would you want to hang out with them? Present yourself as a person that people would actually want to spend time with.
(4) Promote causes you believe in.
In addition to joining groups and forums, you can create your own to promote causes you believe in. Your cause might be helping stray pets, feeding the hungry, or tutoring disadvantaged kids. Prefer to help your peers? You could create a webpage or Facebook group to help other kids learn how to be good digital citizens. You might even form an afterschool club where you meet friends in person instead of online.
(5) Don’t deliberately creep people out.
And when it should be all about you, like on your Profile page, resist the urge to deliberately creep people out. Your Friends might find it funny if you give your Interests as Midnight raves, Drag racing, and Deep frying small animals, but the general public may not be amused. Reading historical fiction, volunteering, and playing soccer might be safer selections.
For more information about the importance of your online reputation and how to protect it, read OwnYourSpace: An Online Reputation that Counts.
Copyright 2011 100 Page Press
Social Networks – Helping Your Teen Stay Safe and Act Responsibly
By Linda McCarthy, Internet Security Family Advocate and Btweens.com Expert
Now that your kids are back in school, it’s time for the annual back to school discussions. You know, the no TV before homework discussion, the earlier bedtime discussion, and of course, the dreaded how to stay safe on the internet discussion. Need to prepare for that last one? Luckily, I’ve got some great free materials to help you out.
Staying safe on the internet covers a lot of ground, but there are two topics that need to float to the top of your list — social networking (which most kids now spell F-a-c-e-b-o-o-k) and cyberbullying.
Keeping teens safe on Facebook
As a parent, I’m sure you’ve wondered what your teens can do to be more secure on Facebook. Most parents do. That ‘s why my team and I created Own Your Space: A Guide to Facebook Security . You can access this FREE guide directly or by downloading it from the official Facebook Security Page.
Some of the things the guide covers are:
- What can you do to protect your Facebook account when accessing it in public?
- What should you do if someone hijacks your Facebook account?
- How you can use Facebook’s advanced security settings?
- How do you protect yourself and your friends from scammers?
Overall, the guide focuses on empowering teens to make the most of social networks without endangering their own or their friends’ security. If your teens are active on Facebook, send them a link to check it out. Ideally, send the link via Facebook. Then your kids can easily share the guide with their friends.
If you have pre-teens, you also need to be aware of what’s going on with them and Facebook. According to Consumer Reports’ latest State of the Net survey, of the 20 million minors who actively used Facebook in the past year, 7.5 million of them were younger than 13, and more than 5 million were under 10. This is despite the fact that Facebook’s terms of service require users to be at least 13 years old.
Jeff Fox, Technology Editor for Consumer Reports, noted that “despite Facebook’s age requirements, many kids are using the site who shouldn’t be. What’s more troubling was the finding from our survey that indicated that a majority of parents of kids 10 and under seemed largely unconcerned by their children’s use of the site.” If your tweens are online, it’s imperative that you help them to understand just how public and permanent Facebook comments and tagged photos can be.
One important way that parents can protect tweens and younger teens is to use Facebook themselves. Want to know what your tween is doing on Facebook? Friend her! You could even have your kids help you set up your Facebook page so that it becomes a family project. Using Facebook also helps you to understand where the potential dangers are.
Dealing with cyberbullying
While Facebook provides an invaluable communications network for kids and adults alike, its use also provides a venue for kids to be really cruel. Even though Facebook provides a way to remove Bully pages, often the harm is done before parents and teachers even find out that bullying is taking place.
Cyberbullies can be incredibly aggressive. A mother in Illinois claims her son was targeted by a group of cyberbullies who impersonated her son on Facebook by using the site to tarnish his reputation. Collecting hundreds of friends, the bullies used the site to make the boy appear racist, and questioned his sexuality (a common theme among cyberbullies and, sadly, linked to several widely publicized suicides). Mother and son have filed a lawsuit asking for more than over $50,000 in damages. One interesting fact to note here is that, when subpoenaed or contacted by law enforcement, Facebook can and does disclose IP (Internet protocol) addresses. Those addresses allow law enforcement to track a cyberbully hiding behind a fake name to the person actually responsible.
Facebook’s FAQs list a whole host of ways to deal with reporting threats. Teens can also be of tremendous help to cyberbullying victims, because they can lend a more sensitive ear to what’s going on than perhaps parents can. That’s what two teens from Mill Valley, California, did when they heard about a girl named Olivia who was being bullied. Rather than just stand by and watch, they started a campaign called “Olivia’s Letters.” They received over 14,000 letters for Olivia from other teens around the country to help boost Olivia’s spirits. Those letters have since been turned into a book and a lesson plan. Those girls were the epitome of good digital citizenry – they showed that they cared.
Coming soon….
Kids also need to know that if they post too much information it can hurt them later in life. I’ll be talking about that next “An Online Reputation that Counts.” Stay tuned.
Also, remember that October is Internet Safety Awareness Month. If your kids’ school is not doing something in October to raise awareness on some of these security and safety issues you might want to encourage them to. There are a lot of free resources online that they can use.
And, don’t forget to send them a link to Own Your Space: A Guide to Facebook Security to down load a free copy of the guide.
Let’s work together to promote awareness and keep our kids safe.
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10 Rules to Keep You and Your Tweens Safe When Shopping Online
By Linda McCarthy, Internet Security Family Advocate and Btweens.com Expert
This year, Americans spent $1 billion online on Cyber Monday—the Monday immediately following Thanksgiving’s Black Friday. More online records are expected throughout the season. A full 25% of holiday shopping is expected to be done online. Online retailers are chomping at the bit. Sadly, so are online scam artists.
Phishers in particular are lining up new bait. If you haven’t noticed at least one phishing scam in your in-box this week, you’re probably not paying attention.
Cyberbullying: Bullying Far Beyond the Schoolyard
By Linda McCarthy, Internet Security Family Advocate and Btweens.com Expert
Unfortunately, every day there seems to be another story about kids who are driven to depression and desperation because of cyberbullying. Tyler Clementi, age 18, Phoebe Prince, age 15, Justin Aaberg, age 15, Megan Meier, age 13 – each of them committed suicide as a response to cyberbullying. As parents we must help our children learn to protect themselves and to cope with cruelty.
Keep Your Daughter SAFE Online: A Checklist for Parents
By Linda McCarthy, Internet Security Family Advocate and Btweens.com Expert
Congratulations! By allowing Internet access from home, school, or your local library, you’ve given your teen an on-ramp to the information superhighway!
With a few simple keystrokes, your teen now has access to encyclopedic knowledge, easy research on colleges and universities, and fast, reliable global communications. If you’re like us and grew up just ahead of the digital generation, you’re probably also still in awe of just how much the Internet really provides. Hopefully, you’ve not also been caught up in the backlash—distorted media coverage that seems to ignore the multitude of cyber-achievements and focuses almost entirely on the dark corners of cyberspace.
It’s important to think about the technology you hand to your kids. Did you give your 10-year-old and your 16-year-old each an iPod phone? Did you realize they’d have 24×7 100% access to the Internet? Are you concerned about what they might see or do online? Did you buy your 16-year-old a $1,000 laptop without knowing that you needed to add a firewall, apply patches, or set the antivirus software to automatically update?
You wouldn’t hand your 5-year-old a book and expect him to find his way to school alone on the first day of Kindergarten. Even teens need your guidance on their way to the World Wide Web. Below you will find a list of things for parents to consider. You should also download the Own Your Space book for tweens from the internet (facebook.com/ownyourspace.net, or ownyourspace.net or Microsoft’s download site). Make sure your kids download and read the book. We put the book on the Internet for free so that parents and kids can learn about how to stay safe and secure without having to spend more money.
A Security List for Parents
To protect your teen online, consider these sensible precautions:
• Do what you need to do to protect your equipment. That includes antivirus software, spyware protection, and a good firewall. It also includes applying patches and updates.
• Realize that social networking sites aren’t going away. If you’re concerned, sit down together and review your teen’s page on MySpace, Facebook, or Bebo. Drill your teen and friends about not giving out full names, addresses, school names, or other personally identifiable information.
• Keep young kids’ computer in a public place. That means an open space where you can see what’s going on—not behind a closed bedroom door. Once they become teenagers with laptops and have access everywhere they go, hopefully they will have learned the important safety tips.
• Keep your family business in the family. If you have a wireless network, make sure you’re not broadcasting your network to the neighborhood.
• Avoid webcams. Teens are too often drawn to use webcams to post photos they may deeply regret in later life. Remove that temptation! Beware of laptops including bundled webcams.
• Don’t be afraid to be the grownup. If you’re concerned about your teen visiting inappropriate sites, install software with parental controls to block those sites. Remember when you child-proofed your kitchen with safety latches and electric plug guards? Especially if your child is a young teen, it’s OK to “kidproof” the Internet a bit as well.
Don’t be afraid to play the cop either, if you need to. If you suspect your teen is doing something wrong online, strongly consider purchasing monitoring software. If your teen is doing something inappropriate, it’s much better to be caught by a concerned parent than a real law enforcement officer.
• If you can, keep important data on your own computer, not the one your kids use. Think of this as protecting your teen’s allowance or college fund! Particularly if your teen downloads software, music, or other items, you should keep your financial details and banking information on your own computer—not the one your teen uses to play games and download software from the Internet.
• If you can’t afford a second PC, consider buying software designed to protect your financial transactions and personal information. Make sure you install that software if you’re banking online or using the family computer for other financial transactions such as online bill paying or shopping.
• Remember that applying patches to close security holes isn’t a one-time “do it, forget it” thing. New security holes pop up continuously. Configure your systems to use automatic updates to keep new holes patched.
• Remind your teen to think about the future. What teens post today will still be hanging around the Net years from now when they’re working on developing real careers. Stupid comments and photos today can translate into unemployment in years to come.
• Watch out for social engineering. Just because someone calls you on the phone and tells you he is from the FBI, it doesn’t mean he really is! Verify it. Teach your teens not to give out any personal information over the phone, email, IM, and so on, that could identify their location or provide key personal information.
• Be aware of cyberbullying. Lately, we’ve seen FAR too many news stories about teens who’ve been bullied to the point of suicide. Teach your kids to report cyberbullying if they see it, and never to engage in it themselves.
About the Author
Linda McCarthy is an accomplished author and computer security expert with 20+ years experience in security auditing, consulting, and training. The former Senior Director of Internet Safety at Symantec, McCarthy’s corporate experience has included positions as VP of Professional Services at Recourse Technologies, and Manager of Security Research and Development at Sun Microsystems. She also founded the front-line security firm, Network Defense. McCarthy received the prestigious Women of Influence award for computer security from CSO Magazine and Alta Associates, an award honoring outstanding achievement in security, privacy and risk management. She has also written extensively on security topics. McCarthy’s published works include IT Security: Risking the Corporation and Intranet Security: Stories from the Trenches.
Seeing the shift in attacks moving from corporate networks to home networks around 2004, McCarthy developed an internet education outreach program for teens at Symantec, working under the Office of the CTO. In 2006, she then published Own Your Space: Keep Yourself and Your Stuff Safe Online, a book specifically written for teens and their families.
Realizing that every family needs access to computer security training, McCarthy published the expanded and fully updated 2010 edition of Own Your Space under Creative Commons Licensing. With the help of corporate sponsors, Own Your Space is now available worldwide for free download from various corporate, non-profit, and social networking sites, including Facebook, MySpace and Microsoft.
While continuing to update and expand the Own Your Space project, McCarthy appears frequently as a guest blogger on various sites and continues to work with companies around the globe to help educate families about security.
